Are you a words of affirmation person?
I’ve found that this is one of my essential love languages. How does that relate to self-care? As someone who truly believes that rituals can cultivate powerful self-love and build self esteem, mirror work utilizing self created affirmations can be incredibly powerful and it only takes as little as 3 minutes a day.
During a self-love training I took with Natalia Benson I learned all about mirror work. This ritual includes finding a mirror, looking yourself in the eyes and saying everything you would like to hear from someone else.
To be honest, this practice feels fairly silly at first. However, it brings attention to your own inner voice. It showed me that I was (more often than not) speaking badly to myself. It felt silly because I didn’t value my own praise!
And I have seen almost everyone around me hold that same belt to their own backs
Then, looking for someone outside of themselves to come clean that treason up
If I were to ask myself out of that cycle, I might say, Listen,
I am still going through my growth spurt…
I am still trying to get rid of my mirror face
Look myself dead in the eye.”
It’s not enough to hope you fall in love with reconnecting to your body, you have to get that discipline and develop that grit for it- that passion.
Step by step
Come up with a handful of phrases you would like someone else to say to you. This can be something you feel you need to hear to be validated, to inspire, to remind or even to compliment.
Edit it down to 1-3 phrases you’d like to focus. Now make the phases simple (3- 5 words per phrase).
3. Decide on a time:
I find the best time of day to practice saying these phrases to yourself is after you wash your face or brush your teeth because that’s already a twice a day habit. If you’d like to try a more intense route, maybe shoot for every time your wash your hands.
If you don’t think you’ll remember, put up a sticky note on the mirror or use a dry erase marker to write a reminder. If you don’t think you’ll follow through find an accountability partner.
5. Do it right:
Make sure you are looking at yourself in the eyes, you are distraction free and Psychology today even suggests breathing into the affirmation. Even if it’s hard to say, even if you don’t believe it (at first), you will get there- stick with it! It should only take a couple of minutes.
On Amy Porterfield’s podcast I heard Jay Papasan explain that it takes an average of 66 days to create a habit. Does that sound like too many days, maybe twice as many as you’ve heard in the past? He explained that there has been a lot of misinformation about this particular topic and that’s why after a month or so people are bound to become discouraged- because the expectations are misplaced. So please please please be kind to yourself and remember the work is totally worth the effort.
Mind to body connection
Intuitively, we feel that there is an absolute connection between the love we show ourselves and how our body responds. You don’t have to take my word for it though.
Positive Psychology Program explains that creating self-affirmations and using repetition have been shown to:
- lower harmful stress
- respond better to difficult situations
- encourage allover wellness
You are important
I hope you can find the time to show up for yourself every day and tell yourself what you need to hear. You’re worth the commitment and you can only benefit from this ritual.